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Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD - J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin versuri lyrics

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J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin

[Verse 1: George R. R. Martin]
Brace yourself!
Gather up your trools and your soldier elves
And your ents and your orcs and your wargs and your Stings
Your dwarves and Glamdrings
Cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring
My readers fall in love with every character I've written
Then I kill 'em and they're like 'no he didn't'
All your bad guys die your good guys survive
We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five
Tell your all seeing eye to find some sex in your movies (yeah)
Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies
There's edgier plots in that David the Gnome
Your hobbit hole heroes can't handle my throne

[Verse 2: J. R. R. Tolkien]
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves, horses, fortresses, magic and swords
You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack
You want a war George? Welcome to Shire-raq
In book sales you've got nothing to say
I'm number one and two, you're under Fifty Shades of Grey
I got the prose of a pro, your shit's subpar
You're a pirate, you even stole my R.R. (oh)
We all know the world is full of chance and anarchy
So yes it's true to life for characters to die randomly
But news flash the genre's called fantasy
It's meant to be unrealistic you myopic manatee

[Verse 3: George R. R. Martin]
I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats
I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast
You went too deep Professor tweed pants
We don't need the back story on every fucking tree branch

[Verse 4: J. R. R. Tolkien]
I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme
You LARPed your Santa Claus ass through Vietnam
And it's hard for me to take criticism on clothes
from a dude who sends a raven to say hi to his toes

[Verse 5: George R. R. Martin]
Man your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke
My show's the hottest thing on HBO
I'm rock and roll, you're a nerdy little nebbish
And I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish dog
Even the names of your characters suck
you got Boffers and bofurs and Brandybucks
I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks
Lift up my gut and tea Baggins my nuts

[Verse 6: J. R. R. Tolkien]
C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing
How you and Jon Snow both know nothing
Because the backstory of my box office is billions
Got my children making millions of my Silmarillions
And I'm more rock and roll than you've ever been
Don't believe me? Ask Led Zeppelin
You can't reach this fellow, shit, I'm too Towering
(Oh) Every time I battle it's return of the King

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Hugs Not Drugs (Or Both)

I look myself in the eye and wonder when
I look myself in the eye and wonder when
'Am I getting it together
Lord it's been forever since it felt right'
 
I look myself in the eye and wonder when
I call my mother and my father and a friend
'Have you got it all together
Lord it's been forever since it felt right, felt right'
 
We want hugs not drugs
Or both, if it's available
I'll take two
And you, under the table and
Let's both get drunk
And forget the rest, yeah
 
I look myself in the eye and wonder when
I look myself up online and I pretend
That my thoughts are pretty clever
Photos looking better in a red light
 
Premeditated debated bitter ends
I get distracted and then I start again
'Am I getting it together
Lord it's been forever since I felt right'
 
We want hugs not drugs
Or both, if it's available
I'll take two
And you, under the table and
Let's both get drunk
And forget the rest, yeah
 
We want hugs not drugs
Or both, if it's available
I'll take two
And you, under the table and
Let's both get drunk
And text all of our exes
 
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs don't make it better
These hugs and drugs, h-hugs and drugs, h-hugs and drugs
 
Down!
I really got my shit down
I really got my shit down
I really got my shit down, down, down
 
I went down
I really got my shit down
I really got my shit down
I really got my shit down, down, down
 
We want hugs not drugs
Or both, if it's available
I'll take two
And you, under the table and
Let's both get drunk
And forget the rest, yeah
 
We want hugs not drugs
Or both, if it's available
I'll take two
And you, under the table and
Let's both get drunk
And text all of our exes
 

All Around My Hat

All around my hat
I will wear the green willow
And all around my hat
For a twelve-month and a day
And if anyone should ask me
The reason why I'm wearing it
It's all for my true love
Who's far, far away
 
Fare thee well, cold winter
And fare thee well, cold frost
Nothing have I gained
But my own true love I've lost
I'll sing and I'll be merry
When occasion I do see
He's a false, deluding young man
Let him go, farewell he
 
The other night he brought me
A fine diamond ring
But the thought to have deprived me
Of a far better thing
But I being careful
Like lovers ought to be
He's a false, deluding young man
Let him go, farewell he
 
All around my hat
I will wear the green willow
And all around my hat
For a twelve-month and a day
And if anyone should ask me
The reason why I'm wearing it
It's all for my true love
Who's far, far away
 
All around my hat
I will wear the green willow
And all around my hat
For a twelve-month and a day
And if anyone should ask me
The reason why I'm wearing it
It's all for my true love
Who's far, far away
 
All around my hat
I will wear the green willow
And all around my hat
For a twelve-month and a day
And if anyone should ask me
The reason why I'm wearing it
It's all for my true love
Who's far, far away
 

Hey Bang Bang

Hey the cruel, cruel words that you say
The broken bones and the hurt bang, bang
I tell you I'm sorry

But you point, point your finger at me
Pull the trigger and 1, 2, 3
It's over I'm sorry

Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang

In a way, I kind of wanted to stay
Back with you in the olden days
Before you were sorry

But you shoot, shoot, shoot that look my way
Point your finger, you shoot bang, bang
It's over I'm sorry

Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang

Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang

Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang

Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang
Hey bang, bang

Captain Of My Dreams

I wanna be somebody
That knows what's inside
I wanna be somebody
That never has to hide
Things that i feel
I know they're real
Cause he's with me
 
Deep in the night
I feel his light
Cause it hits me
 
I wanna be somebody
That knows who i am
I wanna be somebody
And i just can't pretend
 
God has a plan
He's written down my story
 
This is the time
Destiny stands before me
 
He's the Captain of my dreams
Captain of my dreams
Captain of, Captain of my dreams
 
I wanna be somebody
That opens every door
I gotta tell his message
I'm reaching out for more
 
He paid the price
To give me this life
Of meaning
 
He's got my hand
Now i just can't stop dreaming
 
He's the Captain of my dreams
Captain of my dreams
Captain of, Captain of my dreams
 
I wanna be somebody
That knows what's inside
I wanna be somebody
That never has to hide
Things that i feel
I know they're real
Cause he's with me
 
Deep in the night
I feel his light
Cause it hits me
 
He's the Captain of my dreams
Captain of my dreams
He's Captain of, Captain of my dreams
(Captain of my dreams) (2x)
 
Captain
Captain
Captain
Captain of my dreams (4x)