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Ex Best Friend

Say I came back today
Would I have a spot in your heart?
And say, I showed up at your door
Claiming that I loved you more
Than I ever had before I messed up
 
If I could go back in time
We wouldn't have to fight
I'd just hold your hand
And we, we'd live in a fantasy
Where nothing is as it seems
And I never lied, but I did
 
I cheated with your ex best friend
 

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Alpha & Omega

Ladies & gentlemen
 
Welcome to the truth
God made me in his image who the fuck made you
You want my voice from me you can have it just know
I sound like this because the Devil has my throat
I make your insides shift that is my gift
The sea parts and then comes the flood
And men have died to make this you can't imitate shit
The talent I have I paid for in blood
 
I can tell you about things youll die never having known
And I can take you places you could never ever go
And Ive been there so just know that death comes slow
And life goes fast before you know it its through with your ass
 
Bitch I am the powers that be
I am christ crucified on the T
I am the Alpha and the Omega
I’m the messiah the gnashing of teeth
No one meets death until they see me
I am the Alpha and the Omega
 
So this is what you wanted
You wanna carry this curse
And have to cover your skin because the blowing wind hurts
You want your childhood taken from you
You wanna feel someones soul leave their body through their knife wounds
 
Why they take the name that my mamma gave to me and they use it in vain
Why they dont look up when they speak to me like i’m not ten stories tall and theyre weak to me
 

The Mathematics of Booze

One equals two, two equals four,
one more equals one more, one more, and one more.
One for the road equals two for the stool,
equals one to get normal, and three more to get cool.
 
Again.
One equals two, two equals four,
one more equals one more, one more, and one more.
Three equals five, equals seven and nine
equals how many will it take to hit that bottom line?
 
The mathematics of booze.
The mathematics of booze.
It doesn’t follow the usual wills or won’ts,
so are the usual don’ts or do’s.
And all the plans you’re planning one by one
are coming undone by twos.
That’s your introduction to
the mathematics of booze.
 
Now take away your job, and take away your car,
and take away your self esteem.
Now add divorce, and add remorse, of course,
and multiply by the dreams you used to dream.
Now try to solve for what you owe your ex
plus why you’ve got that bruise.
Another fine example of
the mathematics of booze.
 
The mathematics of 'who’s gonna know?',
equals 'who’s gonna drive?',
equals 'who’s gonna know if I made it home alive?'.
One equals two, two equals four,
one more order and you’re headed for the door or the floor.
Six equals eight, equals ten thousand lies,
equals one of those cartoon guys with X's for eyes.
 
And now methodically divide in two
all the loved ones you abuse.
That’s the hardest lesson of
the mathematics of booze.
That’s the math you use.
The mathematics of twelve little steps.1
 

Babylon's Burning

Babylon's burning
You burn in the street
You burn in your houses with anxiety

With anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning
With anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning

Babylon's burning
You burn in the street
You burn in the ghetto
With anxiety

With anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning
With anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning

Babylon's burning
Baby, can't you see?
Babylon is burning with anxiety

You burn at your work
You burn at your play
Spark off till you're smouldering
With ignorance and hate

And with anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning
With anxiety
Babylon's burning, babylon's burning

Babylon's burning
Baby, can't you see?
Babylon is burning with anxiety

Babylon's burning, Babylon's burning
Babylon is burning
Babylon's burning, Babylon's burning
Babylon's burning

Singing of the Bonesaws

The music industry is lying to you
It is telling you that you are excited
And you are excited
And you are excited
 
Or rather you have confused excitement with the fear of missing out
Which is understandable as these two feelings are very closely related
Focusing as they do, on the heart and the groin
And ending in a bloody mess, pregnancy tests and too little sleep
Our survey says that shouting inanities in a regional accent is valuable to culture
Look at Eastenders, Soccer AM or the Queen's Speech
 
Our survey says paedophiles run the BBC
But look at the alternatives
Drowning men clutching at straws through their bell-end helmets
Sad women dreaming of being owned by them
Their children eventual despoilers of the high streets clad head-to-toe in menstrual blood
Screaming sexual insults into bedroom mirrors with the sad belief it will empower them
And it will empower them
And it will empower them
At least that’s what it says on my cereal packet
That’s what it says on my receipt from the Apple Store
Good lord
 
I cannot identify the bloodied bodies of my loved ones
They were killed whilst watching a new television show on the MTV network
One where Kim Kardashian is chased through woodland by a giant bear wearing a mask which carries the visage of recently deceased film director Michael Winner
The bear has apparently not qualified for a workplace pension and is angry with Daniel Day Lewis for what he perceives to be the relative lack of action in There Will Be Blood
Which he otherwise enjoyed but found a little precious for his tastes
 
Anyway, after 20 minutes of panicked running around intercut with interviews with friends and other celebrities
The production team behind the show all simultaneously come to the same horrifying conclusion
They've wasted the precious gift of life which has been given to them by science
They start attacking themselves with the nearest available objects
Breaking off camera tripods to ram them bloodily into each other’s eyes
Climbing up the highest branches of trees to fall face down on to the pulsing earth
The whole time shrieking and screaming with the sudden primal vigour of lost souls who have forgotten language and seem intent on shouting their black hearts from their grey, semi-erect chests
Quite
 
They face the pigs
They face the pigs they were
They face the pigs
They face the pigs they were
 
Anyway, my family members, otherwise enjoying a restful Sunday afternoon spent basking in the Christian lie of a benevolent and loving God
Witness this horror through the prism of their television set
Concentrated hard on the psychic bloodied anguish which has utterly enveloped the unlikely woodland scene and is transmitted directly into the heart of our living room
 
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
And they burst from the screen and into their eyes and their hearts and their minds and their tits and their bits
 
Thoughts echo off their foreheads